I had all these intentions of going into ‘ard Boyz completely prepared and ready to fight my way to the top but somewhere along the way something changed. I had my list concept determined and was playing the hell out of my Marines so I’d know them inside and out. The lists always focused on a core utilizing Shrike, Assault Marines and Assault Terminators, the rest was adjusted as needed for whatever point value we were playing that day. Then one day I said the hell with it, I’m going to just show up and have fun.
What happened is I realized I was taking the game way too seriously and wasn’t having as much fun as I always had prior. Bad dice rolls on my part were making me angry, amazing saves by my opponent’s had me thoroughly annoyed and strategies of mine that were dismantled left me shamed. I was becoming so immersed in becoming a better player that the fun was just not there. I was no longer playing a casual Wednesday night game at my FLGS where I laughed at my horrible misfortune and cheered for my opponent’s amazing luck. Every game was a test and everything was rigorously evaluated which left no room for enjoyment unless it was all of my plans coming to fruition.
I want to be a better player. I’d like to win a tournament instead of being that guy who makes the top tables every few months and is the final roadblock for the tournament winner. However, I refuse to do this at the cost of my enjoyment of the game, and really those I’m playing. I’m by no means giving up my pursuit of betterment but I’m just not going to take it so seriously. I suppose that makes me a casual competitive gamer and honestly, that works for me.
This Saturday is ‘ard Boyz and despite my recent realization I am going with the desire to win and to be more than a stepping stone for the top three players of the day. I may have lost myself as a player for a while there but it wasn’t without its gains. The difference is I’m not going to let the outcome of a game, or games, dictate my enjoyment for the day.