Tournament Report: The June Jerkoff

June JerkoffThere’s a club in Watertown, MA (everyone knows where that is now), called Dorkamorka. We, those at my FLGS, often make trips down there when they host 40K tournaments. This past Saturday they hosted an 1,850 tournament so seven of us made the 2-hour drive down from Maine.

It was slotted as a 20-man event (if I recall correctly), but the turnout was low and only 13 were there – one of the club members jumped in to play swing. The tournament itself scored comp, sportsmanship, battle points and painting. I had spent the past few weeks getting my army 100% painted and just managed that an hour before needing to leave for the road trip.

Not being one to write novels on games, here’s my rundown. Oh, here’s the list I brought along. It was built with what I had painted and could get painted in time, not built with the idea of winning the tournament.

My first game was against Chaos Marines with Daemon allies. That’s the lead-in image which is of terrible quality. My opponent was playing a mono-Nurgle build but not the lame zombie list thankfully. We both aimed to close the distance, Chaos not really being a ranged shooting army, and basically slugged it out in the board center. We had to capture objectives and get more kill points (KP), for the primary objectives. I had the objectives and he had me by 1 KP. There were a handful of secondaries, same with all missions, and he got two of those to my one to take a narrow victory.

Next game was against Chaos Marines. It was a pretty mild list, similar to mine really. Like the last game we both closed the distance. When his Heldrake arrived it vector-struck my Daemon Prince and put 3 wounds on him. My Prince then died to shooting in that same turn, turn #2. I knew his list revolved around that Heldrake and I had one turn to open up on it. I had two squads of Oblits in rapid fire range (which is twin-linked weapons), as well as almost my entire army. I got nowhere and that turn wasted cost me the game. In hindsight I should have ignored it, I know better since I run one often as well, but I got cocky and that was it. However, he was so blood thirsty that when it came to the score he barely won despite me only having 3-models left.

Final game was against vanilla Marines. It was an interesting list with 1 plasma cannon Dev Squad, 1 heavy bolter Dev Squad and 1 lascannon Dev Squad. He had a squad of Hammernators, Libby & Captain, a Command Squad, Rifleman and two Tact Squads. It was a gun line army, as is apparent. There was plenty of LoS blocking terrain so I advanced pretty safely and took the fight to him since I knew he would outgun me and had no reason to come to me. Long story short, I got into his gun line and whittled him down but took heavy losses in doing it as the Termies played counter-attack to each of my charges. However, he was playing defense and reacting so I was able to move my other units onto objectives. At the end of the game we were both bloody but I had grabbed more objectives and took a narrow win.

June Jerkoff - TrophiesThe players I went down with did well with awards. Hippie took a best sportsmanship award, Steve S. best overall, while I got best army (along with a $50 gift certificate to The Warstore), and also best painted model in a painting competition they call the Golden Squig. Best General went to someone named Sam (I believe), and two other best sportsmanship awards were given out as well.

It was a great day of gaming despite the small turnout. Actually, probably because of the small turnout. Everyone was very lax and having a good time even though it was hot as hell in that place. Afterwards we headed out for dinner with some of the club guys and had fun. It was a long day though and by the time I got home it was 1:30am. By the time I got to bed I had been up for 21 hours. Loooong day but well worth it.

  • JustHippie

    I think the guy you played round 1 was Sam and I played him round 3. GUO, DPoN, 3 nurslings? And he did take best general. Congrats on the awards!

    • http://creativetwilight.com/ Thor

      Yep, same guy. Hell of a slug-fest since I was pretty Nurgle heavy too.

      Thanks.

      • JustHippie

        Did he get Iron arm, Warp speed and enfeeble on both his GUO and DPoN against you too? FYI, Baleswords are ID.

  • Sean

    Sounds like fun. From the title I was worried that you went down there and it was a waste of time.

    • http://creativetwilight.com/ Thor

      No, the title is in the perverted sense, not the mentality :)

  • JD Brink

    Everything sounds great… except for maybe that tourney name. might give the wrong impression of what all those guys were gathered up for… ;)

  • JD Brink

    Interesting that there was so much chaos being played. sticking to latest codices i wonder? were there a variety of armies other than the ones you played or just really a lot of chaos?

    • http://creativetwilight.com/ Thor

      Chaos/Daemons were definitely the most popular. Here’s the list of players and armies, along with scores:

  • http://www.creativetwilight.com/ Kamui

    Sounds like a good time. I agree with the others, the name is misleading. I thought this was going to be a story of woe but I’m glad that’s not the case.

    Congrats to you, Hippie, and Steve on the awards!

    • http://creativetwilight.com/ Thor

      Thanks.

      That’s the first time I’ve ever won a best army award and I’m pretty proud of that. Something about my Chaos half-scheme people really like.

  • TheRhino

    Glad you had a good time, and sorry I wasn’t able to make it.
    That’s an odd concentration of Chaos Marines and Daemons. Weird. Must be something in the water in MA.
    Also glad to see our team rocking the lowest and highest sports scores for the third consecutive Dorka event ;).

    • JustHippie

      The other CSM guys were from a very competitive store in Plainville?? and I think they all had the typical Juggerlord, Mace prince, Heldrake etc. I know one of them made a comment to Andrew that he should have just played his 3xHeldrake list after losing. The Dorka guys were Valhallan, Tau and Marines.