As I previously mentioned, Creative Twilight has hit the 10 year mark for its anniversary and it’s gotten me thinking.
See, when I started this blog I had no idea what I was doing. I’m a PHP programmer who works for a local web hosting company and websites are what I do. However, a blog is a whole other animal. It requires attention, nurturing, and engagement unlike a typical website.
Over those years I’ve learned a lot of lessons, and most the hard way. I was/am ambitious and thought this was a lot easier to do successfully than it is – blogging.
In the past few years I feel like I’ve finally hit my stride with Creative Twilight. I’m focusing on quality over quantity. I’m creating tutorials that I hope people find useful, and I’m painting miniatures I hope people find inspirational. I feel as though I’ve found my place.
My painting has also come a long way. The days of a base coat with a dry brush are behind me. I’m tackling advanced techniques like blending and NMM to really push myself as an artist and I’m loving every moment of it.
Still, despite the success of Creative Twilight and the noticeable advancements in my miniature painting, I can’t help but feel I haven’t made it where I want to be yet. That I’m sitting on the cusp of greatness and I’m completely unsure how to reach it.
It’s sort of hard to explain too but I’m hoping some people know what I’m talking about. This isn’t something that’s specific to blogging or painting but a general life feeling.
It’s as though you know you’re capable of more. That you could conquer the world if you only knew how. I know I could make Creative Twilight one of the most popular miniature painting blogs but I can’t quite grasp it. I know my painting could be even better, and I’m trying, but I’m just not there.
There’s this lingering feeling that resides within. An urge to just be better, do better. Yet, finding that release is just out of reach. You can see it vaguely, but every time you sit and consider a path you find it hidden. It’s sort of a malaise really.
I have no point to this article other than just getting that off my chest. Maybe that’s what I’ve needed – my release. I also thought there might be others reading this who could relate. Maybe yet, others who shared what I described and found their path, to which I’d love to hear about.
Also, I’ve wanted to do more blogging and just share. To let you all get to know me more.
So, there you have it. A walk inside my mind ;)